Thankfully, the bride and groom planned their wedding for a time of year when the weather was still nice. That gives you guys an opportunity to throw a bachelor party for your buddy at football game. You guys are going to have a blast. What could be more fun right?
Not so fast guys. NFL and college teams are cracking down on the heavy drinking leading up to game time. Drunken fans are no longer welcome in stadiums across the United States. They are checking people at the entrance more thoroughly than they have in the past. At some stadiums there are even sheriffs stationed near the men’s room. They know that if you’ve been drinking too much beer, you are going to be going to the bathroom a lot. These guys are too smart.
Being the wise guys that you are, some of you will still try to pull it off. You’ll get past the main entrance and find your seats alright. Heck, one of you might even sneak in a little flask of some decent whisky. You will get caught though. You’ll get caught because drunken Bob decides to light up a cigarette while sitting at his seat even though the stadium prohibits it. Some people really hate smokers.
Some fan who is sitting behind you guys will make a big deal out of it. He will start complaining to you guys or maybe even flag down a security guard. Then of course Bob won’t be so cordial. Bob is going to be wearing his biggest beer muscles from all the beer funnels you guys did in the parking lot. One thing leads to another and wham. You guys get ejected from the stadium. Drunken Bob gets a free trip to the jail cell they have at the stadium just for guys like him.
Instead of heading to the club afterward to watch the ladies dance, you guys will be trying to figure out how to get Bob out of the clink. Then you’ll be trying to figure out how to help him avoid a divorce once his wife finds out. Good luck with that.
Now instead of having a happy memory you guys can joke around about for many years to come, you’ll be talking about how much you hate the NFL and how bad it stinks that Bob’s life has gone straight downhill since his wife left him.
The days of NFL football being a weekly Octoberfest are over. Maybe that is why they charge ten bucks a beer now. Better think again before having your buddy’s bachelor party at a football game, especially if you guys are drinkers.
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